Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
