She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
