Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
