She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Be still, my beating vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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