It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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