As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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