you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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