i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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