I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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