I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
