I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
