Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
