Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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