i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
