found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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