another moral hangover. fuck.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The beer is more important than you right now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
