She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
