"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize