I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
