Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
