he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
