Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
