Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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