Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
