Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize