i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
