Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
