That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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