Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
