We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
