just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
