im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
