Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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