All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've blown a few things in my day
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize