I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize