I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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