all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
