i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
