girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
