life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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