Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
