the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
