How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
