All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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