She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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