One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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