dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
