If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
