i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
we're so committed to being not committed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize