Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
