my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
