Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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