there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We don't watch enough power rangers
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
