In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
