Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
