Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
