I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
