Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
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I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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