remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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