My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He passed out mid-signature
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize