i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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