Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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