It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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