Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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