i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
