Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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