dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
